The older I get the more if find that I wish I had known more when I was “young”. Okay, what is young? That depends on how old you are when you ask that question. If you are like me I can remember times before I started school. There was a bit of freedom then, though you didn’t know it. Once you started school you quickly learn that freedom, kind of at that age, was something you lost as soon as you started school, and the first-grade teacher who is someone new to you that is going to tell you what to do from now on. “OMG my freedom is gone.” You ask your mom how long this is going to keep going and she tells you, twelve years. You think, “I will really be old by then. How am I going to make it through this education stuff?” Then your mom tells you that you will get three months off in the summertime that will mostly be about the family vacation. Oh, great.
When I was around 10 years old in1950 I remember talking to some of my friends about the future. We all agreed that at our age we would never see the year 2000. We just won't live that long. Little did we know.
The years go by one by one and sure enough, you suffer, no really, through a lot of family vacations. It turns out that school was not really that bad and so you learn about the other genders, boys and girls. You pick out a boy or girlfriend that you decide is the one for you. What? dating is done in a car? “Dad, I need a car,” Dad tells you that you have to be sixteen years old to have a license for driving. So now I wish I was older. Older or younger, which is best?
BTW, the punch line for this story comes at the end so don’t quit since it will be worth it.
Now I am a Junior in high school. I have my car and a girlfriend and a part-time job. My girlfriend was a wonderful girl. She was originally the girlfriend of a really good friend of mine. We all hung out together. When he graduated a year before my class, I moved in and she was acceptable to it. A year later I graduated and was ready to hit the road. My first mistake with a female. We touched base a few times but slowly we drifted apart. So what is next? Collage next? I don’t think so. My mom and dad were divorced when I was fourteen so money is an issue. I’m going to join the Navy and see what happens there. After all, that military service is an education in its self and you get paid for it. So, goodby Mom, goodby Dad. I’m off to see the world and get my life going.
Years later after the Internet became a thing, I spent a lot of time, trying to find my high school sweetheart. I got involved with the Internet in 1995 and 2019 I found her. Living in the same town she lived in when we were in school. Of course, she had married and had a very nice family. We were working on a way to get in contact without disturbing either of our families. Sadly COVID came along in early 2020 and then I learned that she passed away of cancer in November of 2020.
I did join the Navy in 1959 and my first stop was boot camp and then a Navy school to learn a new job. While there I met a girl. She was really nice and we hit it off. I spent every weekend with her at her parent’s home. We really hit it off and I was surprised as was she. We both agreed that neither of has had ever felt this way before. Her mother and father liked me too and all seemed perfect. Now, she was still in high school and I was graduating from the Navy school. Then I was ordered to Hawaii. I was off to see the world, so to speak, and therein came the problem that was all my fault. She came to Hawaii to be with me as time would permit. At this point, her mother bought her a book about being a Navy wife. We enjoyed our time in Hawaii but time grew short and my ship was due to leave for a six-month cruise to the western Pacific. I put her on a plane back to the mainland and she was going to visit my mom and stepdad. They loved her too. She stayed with them for several weeks but she had to return home to finish school. At this point, we lost track of each other. Actually, it was mostly my fault. I was 20 years old at this point and I just let it go. Now in the sunset of my life, I really feel so bad. What was I thinking? What a perfect wife she would have been. I have spent years trying to find her to just apologize to her. Just a letter or an email just to tell her how stupid I was. Let her know that it was all me and that she did nothing wrong. I don’t even know if she is still alive. Becky, I am so sorry for what I did to you by turning my back on you. I’m sure, of course, that you found a great man and had a wonderful family. Nonetheless, Becky, I am so sorry.
So, time marches on. My military career takes much time even though I was married by now. I continued to further my career. Later after retiring from military service of 22 years I went into the private service. I spent much too much time on my career and my own family and not enough time paying attention to my mother and father. Both, my mother and father passed away in the late 90s.
So, here is the point of this whole thing. You can get caught up in your own life that you can forget about people that are important to you or at least were at some point in your life. My mom lived not far from where I lived, about 30 miles. My dad lived over 3,000 miles away. I tried to see him as often as I could but looking back on it, I did not visit often enough.
So, here it is. Visit your mom and dad as often as you can and especially when your life is busy. When your life is busy theirs may not be. Suddenly they may pass away and later, even years later maybe, you will suddenly realize you didn’t visit them as often as you might have. Now it is too late. They are gone and you missed your chance. Don’t let this happen to you. Don’t put yourself in the position because once they are gone, you have missed your chance to be a really good son or daughter. Take this to heart, I think about it often as I missed my chance to dance one more time with my father.
